Changing Phone with Orange

I recently changed phone to the O2 network and started the process of transferring my old phone number. O2 was very helpful in the process and told me exactly what I needed to do.

I called Orange and asked for a PAC. I was asked lots of questions about why I wanted to leave, wouldn't I prefer to stay and that I'll lose the credits on my phone by transferring. I made it clear that I wanted to move.

Eventually I was transferred to another number. When I say transferred, I was actually placed in a phone queue where I was bombarded with awful music. I waited ... 5 minutes ... waited ... 10 minutes ... waited ... 15 minutes. After a painfully long time, I managed to speak to someone.

I insisted on them providing me with a PAC. They obliged.

The O2 bit was easy, phone them up, quickly get to who I need to speak with and give them the PAC. They gave me a date for the transfer. Simple.

Day of the transfer, it seems that Orange hasn't quite handed over the number. I now have a phone which I can call from but to which all incoming calls go to my Orange answer-phone. It has to be easier than this. I'm hoping this isn't going to turn into one of those awful Mercedes-like customer support experiences. Fortunately for me, O2 is on the case.

I note that I have also received a letter from Orange addressed to "Dear Other Unregistered". It states they are sorry that I've decided to leave and that their service is flexible enough to meet my needs. This actually isn't quite true, they don't offer the phone I want and it seems that they can't be bothered to remember my name after all these years.

I'm starting to wonder whether others have problems with transferring. I'm curious to how this will develop because if portability of a phone number in a regulated industry is so non-trivial, what does this mean for "cloud computing"?

Does anyone know of any industry statistics around portability in the telecoms market? Success rates on first attempts etc?

Promises, promises ...

In my quest to unfortunately come across the most hopeless companies in the world, I've found a new contender to the throne of the most disastrously hopeless. This is a company who's service or product is in my opinion more shoddy than Mercedes. Step forward ... Tiscali.

Ok, now I was asking for the impossible. I was asking for them to transfer my "superfast, reliable broadband" from one house to another. What I got was a superslow, unreliable service. If this broadband was a car it would be my old A-Class Mercedes.

So, here's the story:-

5th Nov : told by Tiscali that our broadband would be transferred in 10 working days.

12th Nov : phoned Tiscali, to check on progress. I was told that they had ordered the broadband for the old address. They apologised and said they would get it sorted.

19th Nov : no broadband, phoned Tiscali. I was told that they hadn't re-ordered the broadband as they had to wait for the old order to elapse. They said they would call back shortly and give me an update. They never called back. I phoned again and was told that the broadband was going to be connected on the 27th. I was assured that this was a confirmed date and this time it would happen.

27th Nov : no broadband, phoned Tiscali. I was told that there was a technical fault with BT and they were liaising with BT to get it sorted. The order was apparently placed yesterday but they said it would be completed on the 5th Dec. I corrected them on the date of order. I asked for the name of the person I was talking to which I received the immortal line "Sorry we're not allowed to give you our names because of the Data Protection Act". Wow, that's a new one.

... slowly, I'm started to get tired with this nonsense ...

27th Nov decided to double check the earlier story with Tiscali. New story found. Apparently the order hadn't gone through for 5th Dec. Talked to supervisor, apparently there was a problem with Tiscali's computer systems; it kept on putting orders into an error state. The system was telling him the order was only placed yesterday, however he fixed the problem and the order was now placed. He would call if there was any further problems and he said it wasn't BT's fault.

6th Dec : no broadband, phone Tiscali. Apparently there was a problem with BT and the order would be completed on the 19th December which seeing the order was placed only yesterday .... here we go again.

So from my view Tiscali blames other companies for its own faults, makes promises it doesn't keep, has problems it doesn't get sorted, completely fails to deliver its service and even its staff tell porkies - can't give a name indeed! Well, that's got to be more utterly hopeless than Mercedes.

Fortunately, I separately ordered cable broadband from Virgin which was done and installed in less than three days - thanks Virgin! The one last problem I have is to go through the task of cancelling my Tiscali account and getting them to refund the cash they owe me. I suspect that this is going to be painful.

What conversation?

In todays world, in many industries, the conversation between the company and the customer is critical. Being incompetent, hypocritical and downright rude is not a good way to build a strong relationship.

I suspect a company like Virgin Media, the source of Suw's complaint (see above link), will probably come up with the usual statements - it's just one customer, it was unfortunate, it was an issue with the service company and all our other customers are happy. You can see from her post there is already some buck passing.

These statements are just like the attempts to redefine copying as theft. Of course copying isn't theft, it's just a license infringement. You repeat the phrase enough times and people start to accept it though deep down you know something isn't quite right.

Well copying is not theft, it's a license infringement. Suw is not just a customer, she is a Virgin Media customer and if this is the way they treat her then there is no reason to suspect that they won't mistreat others too.

A quick search on Facebook for "Virgin" shows that four of the first five groups were negative and "Virgin tech support sucks" was the mildest. Are they having problems?

Ah, the joys of research ...

I'm doing some research at the moment and preparation for my web 2.0 talk. As a result, I keep finding all these little gems of videos, slides and so forth.

This video is apparently from a trade marketing manager at Microsoft and has a "we've treated you bad as the consumer, let's bring back the love" theme.

Hmmm, interesting .... the cynic in me notes :-

Does the "advertiser" ...

1. show the need to control the consumer? Yes.

2. justify statements out of concern or love for the consumer? Yes.

3. exhibit shallow charm? Yes.

4. use language designed to make the target feel small, worthless, stupid or partly responsible? Yes (In the case of "bring back the love" the implication is "Let us")

5. show a tendency to blame others? Yes (In this sense there is distancing itself from its own activities through a mocking video).

6. show cycles of fighting and making up? Yes (For example mistreating consumers and then making a video about it to "make up").

7. show behavior which creates a sense of confusion in the target? Yes (For example "I've changed" - is it my fault?).

Overall, these are signs of an abusive personality ... nice video, not so sure about the overall message.

You suck ... thank you.

Neil McGovern posted some very valid comments about Zimki. Now, we're a small company and we know about the shortfalls in documentation with Zimki.

We're trying to improve it, all the time.

I hope that when we open source Zimki, we might be able to gain the support of others in the wider community in creating a utility computing market based upon an outstanding product. We will of course push it as far as we can.

So Neil's comments are fair, but they are also very much appreciated. Why? Because Neil has taken the time to tell us what he thinks sucks with Zimki. This is positive and helps us improve things.

So thank you and we'll get it fixed as fast as we can.

To be or not, BT ...

Customer service is an important part of any company. So I've decided to write about my latest fiasco with BT (British Telecom). I won't bore you with the minor arguments with the company but the last two just get me annoyed.

About four months ago we moved from BT broadband to Tiscali. We kept the BT land-line though.

We then were sent a bill for continued use of BT broadband.

We phoned BT, asked them why they had sent a bill for a cancelled service; they agreed we owed them nothing.

A few months later we get sent a reminder for the bill. Same old story, same old phone call, same old agreement. This time they promised us they had settled the matter and we wouldn't be getting any more phone calls about us not owing them anything.

A little later, we get phoned by the BT Collection Agency for collection of outstanding money. So same old story, same old phone call, same old agreement, same old promises that they had settled this and we wouldn't be getting any more phones calls asking us to pay fictitious debts.

If past performance is any guide, we are now expecting the bailiffs to turn up. Talk about utterly useless, it's amazing the phones actually work.

The other matter was that someone drove into our telegraph pole, breaking it in half. We called BT from another phone and told them the telegraph pole was broken, they seemed to have difficulty in believing this and kept telling us our phone would be working tomorrow.

Eventually after four days an engineer turned up. So we phoned BT to ask them what was happening and they said "You've got a broken telegraph pole" ... doh.

They have promised to reduce our bill for the days our telegraph pole was split in two across the road and no telephone service was available. I'm not holding my breath; that could be fatal.

The secret is to bang the rocks together guys.

There is one observation that I would like to make.

The phones are obviously maintained by local engineers and I never seem to have problems here.

On the other hand all the customer support stuff seems to be done in some offshore centre (given the difficulties I experience in understanding them, and in being understood).

It might be cheaper financially but in terms of customer experience I imagine it is costing them dear.

In Buzby's words "Make someone happy" - well from my experience BT is more turkey than Buzby.

Nissan Bliss

Well, we had our first small (and I mean small) glitch with our Nissan car. We called the garage they said "bring it in, we'll fix it and lend you a courtesy car".

Can we get an automatic? Sure no problem.

So we trotted off to the garage (near work), and were told they might be able to fix it in a day. If they could then we wouldn't need a courtesy car. They offered to give us a call later, if they weren't going to finish they'd have a car waiting.

We were happy and left for work.

Later on we get the call. They'd fixed everything.

So we go along to the garage and lo' and behold they had fixed everything, and cleaned the car, and pumped up the tires and given it a good checking over.

So with baited breath we waited for the bill. When I used to drive a Mercedes it often felt like a few hundred pounds would disappear just for the Mercedes dealership to notice the car - it gives me the shudders just to think about some of the bills which came in for the actual work.

So tentatively we asked - "How much?"

"Nothing, it's all part of the service."

Gasp! Really? Wow... Gosh.

What a fabulous company Nissan is. I know I've waxed on lyrically about how amazing they are, well they keep on outdoing themselves with their stunningly good customer service.

The car is incredibly reliable (and enjoyable and fab and ... I could carry on) but you almost wish it wasn't so damn good just so you could enjoy more of this customer service - that's an amazing experience to create.

Hats off to them - Fantastic company, Fantastic cars.

British built too! It's enough to make you proud.

Those silly little things ...

Most cars today have some form of radio frequency based remote keyless system for locking / unlocking a car.

Many of these use small internal batteries within the fob, which need to be replaced when they run down.

Why?

The key is connected to the ignition when driving, the car has a walloping electricity generator and a battery to boot. Can't these key batteries be recharged whilst driving?

grumble, grumble...

Things improve ...

Well the new machine from DELL works perfectly, which I am very happy about.

Furthermore I received a phone call from customer services to check that everything was satisfactory. I explained my experience to them, they will investigate and find out what went wrong.

That one phone call has started to turn around my "DELL experience".

Amazing what a little after sales support does.

Better late ...

Finally the DELL machine has arrived at 1:00 pm (a mere two+ hours late). I'll be interested in what time they will claim they delivered on the online tracking system.

Well, since purchasing the machine I have had two broken promises (delivery times) and one outright lie (attempted delivery time which was not true).

The box is in front of me - I just hope it works.

Here goes ....

Hmmm, maybe I've wandered into DELL HELL ...

A couple of months ago I wrote about my wonderful experiences with Nissan - a company that takes customer service to its heart.

Well, this is my experience of DELL.

I recently bought a computer from DELL (last weekend) through a really easy online system.

I received a phone call from DELL saying it would be deliver on Friday morning. Cool, my partner organised a morning off work and we could use the online tracking service to see where things were.

Well Friday came and they didn't deliver in the morning. I was on the phone to DELL (well their transport agency, but as far as I, the customer, am concerned this is part of the DELL experience) at 11.58 am.

They said they would deliver the next morning - by 10.30am. A nuisance but acceptable. So at around 12.10 pm my partner leaves for work.

We get home that evening and find a card from the delivery agent saying they tried to deliver but we were not at home - i.e. they tried to deliver late. We check online and they say they tried to deliver at 11:00 am - Lie. Damned Lie.

Now I'm annoyed, but not with the delivery company but with DELL - I bought this from them, they are responsible for everything down the line.

Next day - yep they don't deliver. Phone up DELL - no customer support on Saturday. Phone up transport agent - wait half an hour listening to elevator music - give up. Phone up local delivery agent - number is out of use.

Phone up DELL sales, someone answers within 15 seconds.

So my opinion? Well DELL is a company who cares about sales and not customers - which mean' s I've probably made a mistake buying DELL.

The machine hasn't even arrived yet!

Damn.

Nissan - Great cars, Great Company

Someone asked me today, how I was getting on with my Nissan Primera SE - well it's magic.

I bought a Nissan about a year ago. I had been renting a Nissan for several weeks whilst the car I owned (a Mercedes Benz A-Class) was in the garage on one of its numerous and reoccuring visits.

The Merc was my first car, I had owned it from practically new around five years beforehand. Within the first few weeks of ownership, I had called out a repair van because the lights had gone faulty.

By the end the car had done around 68,000 miles and at the time of it's last visit these were the sort of faults that it had racked up.

1. Engine control unit failed - replaced
2. Clutch failures - fixed.
3. Gear failure - intermittent visits to the garage.
4. Rollbar links failed - replaced
5. Rear axle arms failed - replaced.
6. Rear suspension failure - replaced.
7. Windscreen washer failed - pipe replaced.
8. Central locking failed - pump replaced.
9. Intermittent electrical faults - all replaced.
10. Car stinking of petrol - fixed on third attempt.

and on...

I was generally under the impression that this was all part of the course of owning a car (having spent a lot of time working in the computer industry with particular products, I was used to things not working all of a sudden).

Anyway, the A-Class was in the garage again with gear failure, it was a dead duck so to speak.

I decided that enough was enough, the repair and service bill over the last five years had been horrendous. So I decided to buy a cheaper Japanese car instead and to sell the now non-working A-Class on a trade auction.

The Mercedes dealer advised me against this purchasing choice and had some interesting commments on Japanese cars. I decided to ignore this though.

I did discuss my problems with Mercedes, and after a good old merry-go-round, I was eventually told they were not going to do anything and how important customer support was ... yada, yada, yada.

So I bought the Nissan. How have things been? Fabulous.

1. It has NEVER gone wrong - not even a tiny little smidgen of a problem. Not a teeny weeny itswy witsy little hint of anything.

2. The service has been brilliant. They always keep on improving things.

3. It doesn't cost a fortune to run.

4. It is totally reliable.

5. I keep on discovering all these useful features it has - and they are genuinely useful.

6. It is a wonderful driving experience.

7. It's made in Britain.

8. Their customer support is absolutely fantastic, incredibly supportive and always helpful.

and lastly, everyone I have ever spoken to at Nissan has been helpful, polite and pleasant. They even sent me a model of a 350Z because I said I liked that car so much (it's definitely my next car now - Nissan have completely sold me on it).

Nissan know a thing or two about "A" class quality - "A" class cars, "A" class people and "A" class support, which is unfortunately the one thing that I feel was missing with my A-Class.

Anyway, that is my experience.